Your Health Your Way
James Ross M.D. shares insights on health, business, and life
Your Health Your Way
Why Motivation Fades And What Actually Sustains Change
We explore why motivation fades and how the brain sustains change through safety, presence, and identity. We share simple practices to train a regulated nervous system so growth feels aligned, repeatable, and meaningful.
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• the annual surge of motivation and why it fades
• motivation as emotional energy and its limits
• anxiety disguised as urgency and comparison
• survival mode and the brain’s need for safety
• presence over pressure to enable learning
• repetition, meaning, and consistency as drivers of change
• identity-based habits versus outcome-based goals
• renewal as restoration, not replacement
• peace as a nervous system state that guides action
• practical signals of safety to start the day
• separating awareness from judgment to reduce threat
• small, repeatable actions that match identity
• body routines that support brain flexibility
• reflection without urgency to stay aligned
If this conversation resonated with you, I'd invite you to share it with someone who might need it.
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Every year around this time, there's this familiar feeling that settles in for a lot of people. It's that sense of motivation, right? It's that sense of clarity, or maybe believing that something is finally going to change this year, that this is the year where things finally come together in a way that maybe they haven't before. People set intentions, they make plans, they feel energized at the possibility of becoming someone different, or maybe finally fixing the things that they've had to deal with for a long time. And then almost predictably, a few weeks pass, life starts asking for your attention. And again, routines become people set intentions, they make plans, they feel energized by the possibility of becoming someone different, or maybe finally fixing that thing that's been so hard for a long time. And then almost predictably, maybe a few weeks pass, life starts to ask for your attention again. Routines become less exciting. The pressure to keep up with what you've promised yourself begins to creep in. And slowly that initial motivation fades. And when that happens, most people assume that the problem is them. They think that maybe they didn't want it badly enough, or they weren't disciplined enough, or somehow they just managed to fail again. But I really don't think that is what's going on. I think motivation is only half of the battle. And in reality, motivation was really never meant to be the thing that carries you for the long haul. Motivation is really nothing more than emotional energy. It's useful, it gets you started, it creates movement, but it's temporary by its design. And when we build our entire plan for change on motivation alone, we really end up trying to sustain our lives on something that was really only designed to spark our movement. So what actually sustains change is really something much quieter and much deeper. And it has a lot more to do with how your brain experiences safety as opposed to how strong your willpower is. That's really where this podcast really begins. It's really what the point of what I'm trying to make is that because when we talk about things like mind, body, and spirit, we have to understand that everything flows through the brain. The brain is the place where thoughts are formed, where stress is interpreted, where meaning is made, and where our sense of safety or threat is constantly being evaluated. You can want change with your whole heart, but if your brain perceives that change is pressure or danger or failure waiting to happen, it will eventually pull you back to what feels familiar. A lot of what we call motivation is really actually, I believe, driven by anxiety. Even if it doesn't feel like it's a panic attack or maybe worry on the surface. Sometimes it shows up as urgency, comparison, fear of falling behind, or the quiet belief that something is wrong with you, even if you don't improve quickly. Anxiety can get you moving, but it really can't sustain growth because anxiety tells the brain that something is wrong right now and that the future needs to be controlled in order to be safe. When the brain believes that something is wrong, it really starts to shift into survival mode. And in survival mode, the brain is really not interested in long-term transformation or even deep healing. It's focused on certainty, it's focused on relief, it's focused on comfort. And that's why people often say they maybe self-sabotage or fall off track when in reality their nervous system is just exhausted and doing exactly what it was designed to do, which is really protect you, protect them from perceived threat. Change is not going to happen in an environment of anxiety. It just can't. It doesn't happen when you're constantly bracing yourself, monitoring your progress, or beating yourself up every time you make a mistake. It also doesn't happen when the future feels heavy and the present feels like something you need to escape or fix. The brain simply cannot rewire itself in a state of fear. You have to realize that. Even if that fear is disguised as productivity or even discipline, real change begins when you learn how to sit. Sit with reality without turning on yourself. That doesn't mean ignoring what needs to change or pretending everything is fine, but it does mean allowing yourself to acknowledge where you are without attaching shame, without attaching urgency or even punishment to it. When you can say honestly and calmly, this is where I am right now, something begins to shift internally because you're no longer at war with yourself. That state of presence is not passive, it's regulated. It's a state where the brain feels safe enough to stay open, to stay curious, and even stay flexible. This is where people get confused because we're taught that growth requires intensity, but the brain doesn't change through intensity. It actually changes through repetition, meaning, consistency within an environment of safety. That's the key. If every attempt at growth feels stressful, rushed, or loaded with expectation, the brain learns to associate change with danger and eventually it begins to resist, not because you're weak, but because it's really trying to keep you alive. That's how the brain is designed. When growth is connected to curiosity, alignment, and creativity rather than fear, the brain stays engaged. This is why goals don't always work the way that we hope they will. Goals tend to pull us toward an outcome which can create pressure, whereas identity pulls us into a way of being that unfolds over time. There's a significant difference between trying to become someone else and learning how to live more fully as who you already are. This is where the spiritual layer becomes deeply relevant, not in a performative way, but really in a grounded and embodied way. When scripture talks about renewing the mind, it's not describing perfection or forced gentleness, patience and restoration. Renewal implies gentleness, patience, and restoration, the idea that something already exists that needs care rather than replacement. Fear-based change tells you that you need to fix yourself, while truth-based change invites you to live in alignment with who you were created to be. Now that distinction is very important. It's important both spiritually and neurologically because fear narrows the brain and creates urgency, while truth expands the brain and restores clarity. Peace isn't passive or disengaged. Peace is a nervous system state that allows wisdom to surface and direction to feel lighter. When you're regulated, you don't have to force yourself forward because movement becomes a natural response rather than a constant battle. What sustains you for the long haul isn't motivation. And it isn't competition or comparison or proving something to yourself or anyone else for that matter. What sustains you is meaning, identity, and alignment. It's the understanding that this isn't a 30-day plan or a reset that expires if you don't do it perfectly, but a lifelong way of living that allows for learning, that allows for growth and grace. At some point, the question stops being, how fast can I change? And it becomes, how do I want to live? When that shift happens, you stop chasing outcomes and you start choosing alignment. And from that place, change becomes sustainable, not because you're forcing it, but because it fits. If you're listening to this and thinking that you've tried before and always fall off, I want you to hear this clearly. Your brain wasn't failing you, it was actually protecting you. And now you get to choose a different approach, one rooted not in anxiety or pressure, but in truth, safety, and purpose. So what does that actually look like, practically speaking, as you move into a new year? Well, it starts with training your brain to experience change as safe. That doesn't require dramatic routines, it doesn't require perfect discipline, it requires small, consistent signals to your nervous system that you are not under threat. One of the simplest places to begin is with how you start your day. Before checking your phone, before thinking about what you need to fix or accomplish, take a brief moment to orient yourself to the present. Slow your breathing. Notice your body. Remind yourself consciously, I am here and I'm safe right now. Now this may seem insignificant, but neurologically it tells your brain that it doesn't need to move into urgency before the day has even started. Another important practice is learning to separate awareness from judgment. When you notice something that you want to change, as say your habits or your energy or your patterns, pause before labeling it as failure. That's really important, just by simply noticing it. This begins to shift your brain out of defense and into learning. The brain changes through observation and repetition, not criticism. It's also helpful to work with identity-based consistency instead of outcome-based pressure. Rather than setting goals that demand immediate results, focus on daily actions that reflect the kind of person you're becoming. These actions don't need to be big, they just need to be repeatable. Consistency signals safety to the brain. Extremes signal threat. And another key piece I want to share with you is about regulating the body to support the mind. Sleep, nourishment, movement, time outdoors, all of these things, they all directly influence how safe the brain feels. When the body's depleted, the brain becomes much more reactive. When the body's supported, on the other hand, the brain becomes more flexible. Now this isn't about optimization, it's about creating enough stability for change to take root. And finally, I want to share with you: learn to build in space for reflection without urgency. Not to evaluate yourself, but to stay connected to meaning. Ask yourself simple questions like, what felt aligned today? Or where did I feel grounded? These questions help the brain associate growth with clarity instead of pressure. This is how renewal actually happens. Not through force, not through fear, but through consistency in an environment of safety. When your brain learns that growth doesn't mean danger, it stops resisting. And when resistance fades, change becomes something you can live into, not something that you have to fight for. That's the difference between starting this year motivated and starting the year aligned. Do you see the difference? Alignment is what lasts. Thank you so much for listening. If this conversation resonated with you, I'd invite you to share it with someone who might need it. Sometimes the most meaningful support isn't advice or fixing, it's simply helping someone feel understood. Thanks for joining today.